Letting Go and Creating Space
Today I am inviting you to consider what you want to let go of in order to create more space and peace in your life. Ask yourself, “What is taking up a disproportionate amount of my mental or emotional energy? What am I holding on to that is no longer serving me?” This is about freeing up your energy for the things that bring you joy!
Grab a pen and paper and let’s dive into a 15-minute exercise that will help you get super clear on what you want to let go of, how you will do it, and why. At the top of your page, write “Soul Sucking” and then create four categories: habits, relationships, expectations of self, and expectations of others.
I’ll provide a few examples for each one…
Soul-sucking habits might include spending too much time on social media, staying up too late, or drinking too much.
Soul-sucking relationships are those which drag you down, deplete your energy, and take more than they give.
Soul-sucking expectations of self might include expecting to see a 24-year-old every time you look at your 44-year-old self in the mirror, expecting that you should enjoy exercise when you never have, or expecting yourself to be a perfect mom who always keeps her cool.
Soul-sucking expectations of others might include expecting your teenager to be an A-student when they’ve always struggled in school, expecting your husband to love beach vacations when he never has, or expecting your friend to be on time when they have always been 15 minutes late.
Here are a few things I’m working on letting go of: the habit of checking email before bed, expecting myself to not make mistakes, and expecting my dad to lose weight.
As you look at your list of habits, relationships, expectations of self, and expectations of others, notice which one really stands out. On a new page, write down the one you chose and prepare to dig a little deeper by answering the following questions:
What is keeping me hooked in this soul-sucking pattern?
What is the cost of continuing without change?
What becomes possible when I let go or significantly reduce engagement?
What are 2-3 strategies for letting go or setting boundaries?
Why is this important?
Using one of my personal examples, here’s what it looks like: I choose to let go of expecting my dad to lose weight. What keeps me hooked is that I worry about the long-term impact it will have on my whole family if he has major health problems. The cost of continuing to expect this of him will most likely lead to frustration, disappointment, and disconnection. What becomes possible when I let go is I can accept and enjoy him as he is in this moment, without letting worry steal that from me. Some strategies that can help me include focusing on the things I love about him and not making his weight a point of conversation. This is important because ultimately I don’t have any control over whether he loses weight or not and I really don’t want this to get in the way of our relationship.
Now, jot down a list of “Soul Satisfying” habits and relationships. What habits nurture you, bring you greater peace, and boost your happiness? Which relationships in your life fill your heart and lift you up? Every time you say no to the soul-sucking things in your life you are also saying yes to the soul-satisfying things in your life; you are saying yes to more joy, peace, and fulfillment.
Send me a note about what you have committed to let go of. I look forward to hearing from you!