Make One Change
Full of optimism and good intentions for the beginning of a new year, we find ourselves making a list of all the changes we want to make… start an exercise program, eat better, read a book for pleasure, take baths more often, meditate, spend quality time with our spouse, be more present with our children, go on a vacation, etc. These are all great goals, but without specifics, it’s hard to know where to start. Instead of throwing in the towel on the entire list (and feeling deflated), narrow it down by asking yourself “What do I want more of in my life?” It is a simple question that can help you get to the heart of what really matters to you.
Your answer may be something like… “more connection” or “more calm” or “more energy” or “more fun.” Whatever comes up, choose one thing that you will focus on right now. Now, close your eyes and visualize that you already have more of this in your life. What does it feel like? What does it look like? How is your life different? What do you notice? Take a few minutes to write down your answers with as much detail as possible.
Next, identify one action you can take within the next two weeks to bring you closer to this goal. Be very specific in terms of what you will do and when you will do it. To ensure you follow through, schedule a reminder (or two) into your calendar and ask a friend or coach to follow up with you and hold you accountable.
For example, if you want more calm in your life, a supporting action can be to take two deep breaths before you drive your car and before you enter your house after work. Have you ever driven somewhere and arrived with little or no memory of the journey? Taking two deep breaths gets you out of your head and into your body so you are present (and safer) while driving your car. Do you find yourself entering your home in the evening with your mind still at work and feeling overwhelmed by the needs of your family? Pausing to take a couple of calming breaths before you walk into your house allows a moment to disconnect from work and show up more fully for those who greet you when you come through the door. Being present with with the ones you love creates space for more calm and greater joy.
Two weeks after you set your first intention for action, revisit this exercise. Again, ask yourself, “What do I want more of in my life?” If the answer is the same as before, identify another action to further support this goal. In the case of wanting more calm, you may decide to schedule yourself a 20 minute bath every Thursday evening or perhaps you will commit to saying “no” to adding any additional commitments to your schedule for the next two weeks. If you choose to shift your focus to a different goal, follow the same protocol and put a single action into place to help move you closer to this goal.
Through this process you can create monumental, meaningful and sustainable changes in your life that bring you into harmony with your core values. In doing so, you will find greater fulfillment and happiness.